I am sorry readers. There is no hiding from the fact that this blog has been severely neglected of late. In fact, my goal of becoming a writer of any kind has been neglected. The truth is, though I can provide any number of excuses such as work being busier, trying to get Cali going better, tiredness and these are all contributing factors when it really comes down to it that’s not why. The real reason is, I have felt like giving up.
It turns out all the books, websites and the tutors from my course weren’t lying, journalism is a tough gig. Writing itself is hard and then once you’ve written something getting anyone to actually read it let alone publish it is even harder. When you have no portfolio of previously published work to back you up it’s seemingly impossible. I constantly question myself….. Am I completely wasting my time and being totally deluded and naive to ever think I can make this work?
Having spent my entire life up till now stuck head first in the world of horses blind to the existence of anything else in the world I feel so lost when I leave it. It’s a good 10 steps outside my comfort zone and the sheer amount of stuff I DON’T understand can be overwhelming. So I have my little setbacks, times when I loose the necessary motivation and discipline to sit down at my desk and put in the hours of research and writing. It’s easier to let the rest of my life take over. I find it amazing how much you can fit in when you try really hard to timetable it all but then as soon as you lose that strictness, your whole day can be taken up by 3 activities instead of the 6 you were fitting in before.
Having said all that despite my moaning I’m not ready to give up yet but I am making some changes.I have realised that more of my time needs to be committed to pitching magazines/websites and blogs if I am ever to succeed in making this dream pay even pocket money. So sadly the blog is going to take a back seat and become my side project. Posts will become purely a diary of my racing and general personal thoughts on life (which they mostly were anyway to be honest!).
On that note on to my exciting news………….. I am getting a new bike!!! An Orbea Rallon X30, full spec and pictures to follow when I have picked up my new beauty. I’m excited to say I am also becoming part of the shop race team for Red Brick cycles in Plymouth. I will be helping to promote the great work they do keeping riders bikes in prime condition and sharing what an awesome speedy beast of a machine the Orbea is. My own knowledge of bike set up and maintenance is shockingly dire so I’m hoping I can learn a thing or two from these guys! Having that back up there and new friends to ride with has also given me the confidence to decide to commit to racing properly next season. Trail running will be put on the back burner and enduro mountain bike racing will be the main focus. The fastest way to learn is by doing and you only learn what you’re capable of by stepping outside of your safety zone, so next year I plan to do just that. To start with I will do the rest of the Woodland riders racing downhill series at Gawton. Then I hope to race all rounds of the British Enduro series bar the first one up in Scotland. In between these rounds I will fit a few of the Southern Enduro series.
All these reflections and plans and I haven’t even started contemplating New Year’s resolutions yet! The prospect of all this bike time just fills me with energy and excitement though so I’m already sure next year is going to be full of adventures and good times. Bring on Saturday and my new bike 🙂